I didn’t post for  the past 2 weeks – I was unwell with covid – or should I say recovering from covid. The week I spent in bed made me ponder (wasn’t up to much else mentally) about
what might happen next! That’s dangerous because that’s not being present & in the moment – and unchecked that becomes anxiety. 

The unknown world of…….what if.

What if / this gets worse, I get really sick, I end up in hospital, this goes to my lungs?
How will I know if I’m getting better or worse?
What’s the difference between day 2 and day 5…and when is day 5 measured from?
Am I contagious?
How and where did I get it……..and on it goes.

Resist all urges to google answers to these fleeting questions!! Mindfulness teaches us to allow thoughts to come into our minds – the trick is to let them ‘pass’ through.
To not dwell on them. And allow them to leave – like traffic flowing through.

I’m relatively self aware so can intercept and use strategies to bring me back and not allow myself to ‘live’ in these thoughts. However it got me focused on thinking about fear –
I’ve talked about it before – I’ve done seminars and papers on it, blogged and coached on it – faced it and documented how to overcome it – but as the week went on I became super curious about how fear is driving so many of us- massively exacerbated by the uncertainty of the situation we all find ourselves in right now…..

So, I spoke to my friend about fear and cancer – in fact I spoke to 3 of them because honestly sometimes we all need some perspective to get us back in check. There’s not much more frightening than being confronted by our own mortality & the self administration of a large quantity of super strength chemical drugs that come with a list of side effects scarier than most
horror films. The unknown is the scariest, – what is coming next, what can I expect, will I survive, is this as good as it gets, is this as bad as it gets………

And then the Taliban took back Afghanistan in 1 day (or so it seems) after 20 years of our services and armed forces intervention. Even my kids are talking about the people who died
gave their life, limbs, loyalty and sacrificed family – to what end…..there are a huge range of questions, political, religious and mainly humanitarian about the whole situation….and it feels bleak and again the questions – what if, what will happen next and on it goes….

And then some bad news about some shocking passing over of people too young, ill, unexpected and shocking. Am watching Sean Lock clips to remember his legacy and how funny he was – and ironically he is doing a sketch about when cholesterol become a thing and everyone had to be scared of the ‘bad’ version…..media driven fear… it’s everywhere.

The purpose of this post is that if we focus on these things- it all makes for feelings of despair and hopelessness and overwhelming sense of sadness, loss or fear. And sadness is an
emotion that should be expressed, especially in grief, and fear keeps us safe….in the right measure and balance….but not if we allow it to take over.

As with all things – the antidote is action or finding something good or re-framing the meaning. And if you need to argue that it’s not easy or appropriate – I would suggest you are right – but also triggered and may just not know how to change your own focus. Because mainly we find what we look for. And the human brain generally seeks to prove ‘ourselves’ right. The action for
all of these things is to find the good, the smallest, tiniest good – to break the pattern of thought and start to reverse the thought process to allow ourselves the relief required from being
bombarded with what can feel like constant bad news. Otherwise we risk descending to a place – deep, dark and hard to get out of.

Life is tough, and everyone’s tough is real and relative and deeply personal. But life is also beautiful, meaningful and filled with experiences and connections and amazing moments, just maybe not all at the same time.

Hang in there, and actively look for things that make you feel better ……get outside, a walk, chat to a friend, bake a cake, read a book -even if it’s watching an episode of love island – do something that brings you back into focus, the present moment, distracts you and brings you some joy!!!