April is stress awareness month, and one thing that stresses people out is their perceived inability to achieve certain things in life, or more specifically to set and achieve goals. I am not sure how accurate this is generally, as we are all quite goal driven (even if we are just talking at the task level).

However, clients will often ask me ‘how do you manage to achieve so much’ and ‘what is it that you do’. To me there is a better question to ask– which is ‘What are the goals that you are not achieving’, or ‘where in your life are you not getting the results you want’?

This is a better question because we clearly don’t have issues with the goals we are achieving, but it’s with those that we don’t or cannot seem to move forward with that are the ones to think about – especially where they are creating additional stress in our lives.

Let’s say you take an area of your life that is either stressing you out – or you are not where you want to be, or you just know it has to be different.  This is where we really need look at how ‘effective’ the goal setting is that you are (or are not) doing.

A basic set of principles such as this – really helps:

1.      Studies have shown that on average you are around 75% more likely to do something if you write it down – rather than just think about it. So, write your goals down.

2.      Make your goals SMART, Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time bound

3.      Be accountable to someone

4.      Report progress regularly

Doing those things massively increases your chances of success. So let’s see how Peter Druckers, S.M.A.R.T. approach, can help you to get better results in any chosen area of your life.

Goals need to be Specific. Mainly because the Reticular Activating System (RAS) in the brain and your unconscious mind need clear direction in order to help you achieve what it is you want.  Think about the R.A.S as a sat nav device for your mind.

A great example of getting specific is that if you want to go on holiday you would not put ‘holiday’ as the destination into your sat nav as it would have no idea where to take you, the best route, how to get there (wherever there is) and when you want to go. However, if you typed in ‘Hotel Name’, ‘Street Name’ and ‘Town’, it would then be able to plan the most appropriate route (based on your preferences) and get you to your destination within a stated time frame. 

If you apply the same thinking to your goals it might look something like this.

If you have managed to write down the following goal (which is a good start!):

‘I do not want to be in debt.’

There are a number of reasons why you might think this is a valid goal, but the reason you are unable to get any major level of result is because it is too vague. 

The other key thing to note is the brain is not able to distinguish the negative – so goals should ideally be written in the positive. You need to also give the brain a statement about what you DO want rather than what you DO NOT. Then you will ensure attention and focus is being given to the right outcome – not the existing problem.

So perhaps this is an improvement:

‘I want to be debt free.’

This is better because it is positive, but still needs to have the Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time bound elements to maximise your chances of success. 

The brain needs a timeline to begin the process, without it – the goal is always in the future and that never comes. Tomorrow never comes.

Now, this next step is where you might struggle – because we are not great at asking for what we want, and sometimes it is uncomfortable stating numbers.

This is where as a coach I would ask you to think about why something might be so uncomfortable for you – it might be because you have some beliefs, limiting beliefs about how and why you are not able to achieve the goal, or feel it is unrealistic, or that you are not capable.

If it is possible, and you either have the capability or can acquire it then really it is your beliefs that may be holding you back.

So this goal re-written might then begin look something more like this…

‘By December 25^th 2021 I will be debt free and will have £100 spare in the bank each month’

You will be moving ‘towards’ the goal you want, you will be able to break down the specifics into further smaller tasks or actions and you will be 75% more likely to achieve it IF you wrote it down.

Use all of your imagination and senses to really take the time to feel what it will be like once you have achieved the goal, how will you react, what will your life be like, what will be different and how will you celebrate. It is important to celebrate milestones along the way to remind you of how far you have come.

Ultimately it also allows you make better decisions as you will also be clearer on what it is you want and what you need to do to get there. Anything distracting you from that path can then be considered and rejected – rather than having the additional stress of worrying about whether you are making a right or wrong, good or bad decision. (But that’s another subject for another day)

Until then maybe see if you can identify something that is stressing you out, and using the techniques here, perhaps write down a new goal or set of goals.

Then see where that takes you.’